2008

It has been a while since I last write something in my blog. I just feel so malas lately to write anything since there have been lots of other things that have been distracting me for the past months. I guess a Happy New Year wish is in order..so Happy 2008 to all of my friends and may this new year will be even better that last year and all of us will benefit more in life as well as spiritually. Speaking of which, being an emotional person, and super emotional recently *wink*, it just made me reminisce on the going-ons of 2007. Certainly there are a lot of ups and downs in my life, I don’t know about you but I really feel that there are so much to be learned from my mistakes and lessons to be learned and I am determined to be better in everything that I do. Come to think of it, I don’t know the why I need to wait until a new year to come until I even consider all these, I mean, change can be done at any point of my life at any given time of the year…hmmm procrastination has to be eliminated as well! Hehe

I am often told by my close friends that I seem to be able to accept anything that life throws at me, be it good or bad. Though I beg to differ, I am probably the most emotionally unstable person I know, I am really bad in concealing my feelings..which at times can cause me trouble as well. Let’s not go there. Managing emotional pain was one of my bad qualities before and I seem to act out quite a bit whenever I was faced with any type of emotional stressors. I don’t have anybody to teach me how to deal with things when I was younger, I guess it’s just the way the society is, or maybe it is just how the way that I was brought up??

I don’t know why, but when I think about it, I remember that I will be uncomfortable to open up the doors to my feelings and memories, well at least the unpleasant ones because it might be terrifying or I might be too exposed. I was also taught that I am not supposed to spend too much time dwelling on the painful events and believe that I just was to ‘suck it up’ and move on. I also remember that it is very important not to be a burden to others especially with our problems. I really believe that if I do so, I would end up whining and overtax the ears of my friends and loved ones.

It took me a while to realize that it is OK to talk about my real issues, although I still have to learn to whom I could pour all of my hearts and soul to, but I am getting there and for that I am managing my emotional pains better.

I guess I am lucky that I was brought up with a spiritual belief. Whenever I was faced with troubling times, confusion or loss, and there is no one to talk to, I can always talk to God and even though I will never ‘hear’ an answer or solution, I would always feel better and my mind will be able to find a solution to any problems…or I will be able to rationalize the problematic situations I was in.

I hate exercising, but I realize that I will not be young forever and since exercise will improve not only my physical being, but my emotional being as well, I guess I have to start taking it seriously…well, I have actually always known about it, but well procrastination has always been my enemy..again, note to self, DON’T PROCASTINATE!

I started writing this post today thinking that I just want to wish my friends a Happy New Year, and put on writing what I want to do for 2008…konon2 a new years resolution la, but it ended up being another long one…ish ish

So, not to continue with my babbling any longer, here are my new years resolution, I think putting it here psychologically will make me want to achieve them and it will help me see whether they are something that is in my capability of doing instead of just saying it in my head.

One: EVERYTIME WE OPEN OUR MOUTHS, MEN LOOK INTO OUR MINDS – Anonymous

I have to remember that word are powerful, I need to change what I say and how I say things to begin to change the way I see life and how people perceive me!

Two: HUMILITY IS NOT THINKING LESS OF YOURSELF, IT’S THINKING OF YOURSELF LESS – Rick Warren

No matter how what I have done in life that I am proud of, always remember that there are other people that are making much bigger difference in their life and have even bigger impact to the world and environment. Do more for others, and give more than I take..

Three: HEALTH BEFORE SICKNESS – Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

I reaaaaaalllllyyyy have to start watching what I eat and how I live my life. I need to exercise more, and take care of myself more. Although I do avoid eating junk foods, I do have my food vices so that definitely have to stop. Plus, I have to make sure I have my medical check up every year. I know its not necessary at my age but tengah semangat ni….so we’ll see..hehehe

Four: WITHOUT CONTINUAL GROWTH AND PROCESS, SUCH WORDS AS IMPROVEMENT, ACHIEVEMENT AND SUCCESS HAVE NO MEANING – Ben Franklin

Although one of my passions is reading, and I always learn new things in the process, I want to learn more.. I have been seriously thinking of taking up a course to learn a new skill or improve on what I’ve already learned. So this year will be as good as any to start. This would also cover the spiritual part of my life, I want to do more charity and recite more of the Quran..frankly, its just Yaasin every Thursday and its seriously not enough..so do more this year!!

Five: YOU DON’T CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY. THEY ARE GOD’S GIFT TO YOU, AS YOU ARE TO THEM – Desmond Tutu

I might not have a super close-knit relationship with my family but I do love them to bits and I am very protective towards them, even the extended ones. This year I want to be more open with my feelings and share more with them. Recently there has been a nasty rumor about me and my husband and it has reached to my family’s ears. Due to the fact that I don’t share everything with them, the rumor has taken effect and has actually hurt their feelings, even when the rumors are totally rubbish. The rumor has been started by someone who has a personal grudge against me and my husband and I just hope this person and whoever that are involved in circulating the rumors will realize that whatever they did will come to haunt them one day. Karma maaannn…

So that’s basically it, initially I wanted to be more ambitious and put a lot more in my resolution, but then I must do whatever that is in my capability. Don’t do or plan for things that is so out of reach that it will just be a hurdle in achieving anything else in 2008..like going to Hollywood and meet at least 5 A-listers….helloooo….so impossible.  Ok ok dah ngarut dah ni…

So once again…I wish that God will bless every one of my friends, thank you for all the love that I received in 2007. May all of us be more productive and successful in 2008…and lastly, Global Warming is a real issue, so let’s all do our part no matter how small…